I tend to under write, using too few words rather than too many. This leaves my reader in confusion, unable to figure out where they are or what is going on. I’ve re-written my draft multiple times, and the issue still remains.
Yesterday, trying to find answers to that question, I came across The Bookshelf Muse. She has a thesaurus of sights and sounds for different settings and emotions. Hum, that’s helpful.
So for today’s prompt, I’d like to spend time on how to ground the reader in a scene. How many words does it take? Can you ground a reader and still create tension? How do these two things balance out? I’ll start by posting the opening from my WIP (groundless as it is), and you can comment on areas that you think could use more detail/clarification.
Three perfect drops of blood trickled with a satisfying swirl of red into my coffee cup. I licked my finger, sealing over the two puncture marks and turned around to watch the crowded dance floor. I sipped the beverage and it hit my stomach with the force of a cyclone. The infusion of my blood would make sure it stayed there.
When I opened them again, Drew sat on a barstool across from me. He smiled, a weak unenthusiastic gesture. Without waiting for him to order, I popped the cap off a Corona, poured half of it down the inside of a chilled glass and added a slice of lime. I pushed the foamy beverage across the counter. He gripped the glass, staring at the contents as if the beer might save his life.
As the humans gyrated on the dance floor to loud punk music, their scent permeated everything. My clothes, my hair, even the gleaming mahogany of the bar. The monster inside me uncurled, luxuriating in the smell. I shut my eyes, shoving away the notion I should feed from my patrons.